HOLY WEEK--TUESDAY

Simon Peter said, 'Lord, where are you going?' Jesus replied, 'Now you cannot follow me where I am going, but later you shall follow me.'

 Peter said to him, 'Why can I not follow you now? I will lay down my life for you.'

'Lay down your life for me?' answered Jesus. 'In all truth I tell you, before the cock crows you will have disowned me three times.'

JOHN 13: 36-38

Betrayal, betrayal, betrayal. You would think this is a soap opera. Today's Gospel reading features Jesus and a bunch of traitors--a.k.a. his disciples.

Yes, I am being really harsh. But you know what, these men knew Jesus, they lived with him, ate with him, witnessed all the marvels and miracles he did. And at the end of the day, they all turned their backs on Him.

and Peter, PETER!! The rock, the one upon whom the Church would be built-- He's all talk, telling Jesus that he's willing to die for Him. But Jesus knows what will happen: Peter, the coward, will deny Him three times.

Well, let me tell you... I am Peter. I am a traitor, a coward. I have a personal relationship with Christ yet constantly find myself denying Him through my actions (and sometimes even by my words). I tell Jesus that I love Him and that I surrender my life to Him but when the time comes, I chicken out. And so do you. If the apostles, who were to become the representatives of Christ on earth, were weak enough to leave him and flee when the time of hardness came, imagine how much at a disadvantage we are!!

We make such a big deal about Judas being such a traitor and we just hate on the guy all the time. Of course we have reason to be mad at him--but what is the difference between Judas and Peter, after all? Moreover.... what is the difference between Judas and I? At first, nothing really. BUT--

What Peter did that Judas didn't was to believe that the Jesus he had betrayed was the God of love and mercy and could forgive him if he repented from the heart. Judas, meanwhile, doubted that he could be forgiven, thus rejecting God's grace and separating himself eternally from God. 

Peter, the coward, the traitor, the broken man who had sworn and cursed when confronted about being a follower of Jesus, wept bitterly in contrition. And you know what? Ultimately, Peter (and the rest of the disciples) left all his fear and his doubts behind and surrendered himself to God to the point of losing his life for the Gospel.

So are you a Peter? Or a Judas?

Lord, I know I am like Peter: fearful, doubting, stubborn, and flawed. But You still love me and forgive me. I am so sorry for constantly denying you and for constantly crucifying you with my inequity. Wash me with Your most precious blood. Give me the grace and strength to offer my life up to you fully. Please put my weak heart inside your Sacred Heart. 

You're Peter, so? He can work with that. May you hear His voice in the silence of your heart, may you be forgiven, healed, and strengthened in Him.